A super masochistic pervert
by Mitsuaki-chan
Summary: Dômeki/Yashiro. Since a few days, Dômeki understood the "Boss" is not just a Boss. Attracted to him, he desperately wants to protect him, and on the other hand, he hides the secret pain of craving him as much. Will Yashiro notice? The game starts here.
1. Intro

This is the first story I write in english, and I'm French so pleaaaase be gentle.

Do not throw something at me, I'm just trying just to see how it can go.

_So… _

Disclaimer : The characters and their context belongs to **Yoneda Kou **and the manga **Twittering bird can't fly **(**Saezuru Tori wa Habatakanai**), so Yashiro and Dômeki aren't mine.

Infos : this is a fiction – or maybe a one-shot collection, I don't know yet. I'll decide it later. I think I'm just gonna write what comes to my mind, wether it is long or not. And one more time, please, be lenient because I'm not English.


	2. 1 : The Boss

_A super masochistic pervert_

Another mask to hide his face behind. Another name he was called. Yashiro, the super masochistic pervert the public toilets of the executive staff the lustful cat sex addict and little slut. Doumeki know it wastn't just that. It would be too easy, way too easy. He had learnt to see behind this wall of glass, tearing them apart. All he ever wanted was to have a chance to show it to the Boss.

Ah, the Boss. Quite a problem. All this time, all that Doumeki has ever loved was loudly, funny and pinky girls. Now, the only thing he could think about was this horrible sexy monster, with his sharp blond hair and dark eyes, and this unforgettable demoniac smile always catching Doumeki's eyes.

He tried. He tried to push him away in his dreams, he tried not to bite his lips when thinking about the Boss. He tried avoiding always staying like a statue, too apprehensive for his Boss' reactions. And though he did that, efforts never paid once. It was still there. _It. _

This ridiculous feeling, deep inside his chest, growing and growing, getting more painful everyday, amlost choking him at night. Sometimes, he had the impression it was like an open wound : cured at night, and re-opened again when the Boss's eyes crossed his. And Doumeki always had to bear the innocent pain in his stomach, like a middle school girl getting excited, bright eyes, when seing the « cute boy » she was dreaming of. In a certain way, he was that school girl, always waiting for dawn to come, hoping for this day to be the _one_. But it never came. It, like the occasion of facing reality, the real fear – telling him. How he was feeling, how deep it was digging in him, how cruel it was.

Doumeki didn't want it, after all.

During the day, he was faceless. Unemotional. And when the Boss was away, or just looking somewhere else – which was way too rare – he was taking a deep breath, praying whatever God to keep him alive until the end of the day. He was feeling like… he was kind of losing himself. Yes, he was someone else. He was not just Doumeki anymore he was not the Policemen, nor the Yakuza new boy. Today, he was the Boss's bodyguard, the Boss's friend, the Boss's invisible guardian angel. He was Yashiro's secret – and the Boss was Doumeki's. They always had this kind of yes-but-no friendship, just like a cat and a mouse, always cutting their feud with a short moment of respite, a truce. And then again, it was starting again.

He would have liked to have a choice, for sure. But now that it was too late, he just had to deal with it.

Yashiro was waiting on the sidewalk, looking at the speeding cars passing by. Doumeki know it was him, without even checking. This back. It was the Boss's, he swore. What should he do, then ? Going back to the office, swallowing his own shame, or leaving anyway ? Maybe he just didn't want any of these options. Maybe he just wanted to make one, two, three steps and graze this thin silhouette. If only the Boss could notice him. If only.

« Boss ? » he asked carefully.

No move. He was still.

Doumeki, ill-at-ease, once thought of getting back to the office. But when he was about to turn back, something just kind of moved, catching his tired eyes. He lifted his eyes the Boss was gazing at him, with this « no-emotion » look.

He had to fight this toxic attraction. He had to. He had no other choice – telling him his feelings equaled being rejected, and worst, _ignored_. The yakuza didn't want to take the risk, it was too dangerous to try.

« Hey, didn't you have a question ? You're annoying. »

There it was. These painful words again. Yashiro couldn't help himself, for sure. Maybe the Boss didn't espacially want to be this cruel with his subordinate, maybe it was just the way he was. But Doumeki swore it was something else, like an habit, or a mask he was wearing from the start, unable to take it off. Dark, gloomy, even a bit scary at some point. This was Yashiro, the Boss, the sex addict, the phlegmatic man with his expensive suits. Always standing there, waiting for someone to revile. But Doumeki should be used to it – and he wasn't.

« I – I just don't like the idea of leaving you alone here.

- Relax, brat, it's just a filthy pavement. What do you think ? Nobody's gonna shoot me or anything. Come on. »

He frowned and Doumeki felt like his heart was wrenching by itself. The boss approached and he stopped, too close to his bodyguard to let him breathe correctly. Indeed, he was holding his breath – too stressed out to show his weakness to the Boss.

But when the Boss put his delicate fingers on Doumeki's cheek, his heart definitely burst. This time was different. It was no blow-job, no harsh word, just a sweet touch he couldn't afford – and it was too bitter to know the Boss was just playing around. Once he'd let it go, Yashiro would never show up again. Thus he remaind motionless and looked down, unable to face the playful gleam in the Boss's eyes.


	3. 2 : Wonderwall

_Some informations about the context I forgot to give. Okay I finished reading the scans so I am looking forward the next ones. Normally – warning, spoilers ! – Yashiro is at hospital and he have, I think, to stay here for a while. Let's pretend he just left the hospital and spent a day at the office, with all the bandages and everything. Meanwhile, Dômeki still has cut his finger – so he's got bandage too. This is the end of their « first day » after the bullet incident. _

_Oh ! and Rating M again, cause you know, Yashiro and his bad speaking…I'm quite ashamed of writing something that dirty. Beh._

**Wonderwall**

Dômeki remembered he had heard this word before. Wonderwall. Someone you can't stop thinking about. The person definitely stuck in your mind, stealing your thoughts, your liberty. That was quite the situation right now. Preoccupied, always thinking about the Boss. The Boss's sake, the Boss's satisfaction, the Boss's smile. Always.

Now, this demon was looking at him, and his fingers were tenderly stroking his cheek's skin. All he wanted to do was to blush but he couldn't afford such a humiliating thing in front of the Boss. How could he even want to stay by the Boss's side, now that he was just teasing him so much ? It was cruel – there was no doubt. But it was sweet, and for a second, he just closed his eyes, delightfully enchanted by the touch.

« Too bad you're impotent. »

This voice broke everything. The background, the soft silence, the perfect sensation of his finger on his face. This was the reality's voice, hard and honest, never losing time for what's not worth it. Dômeki had to repress a sigh, incredibly disappointed, and opened his eyes to finally meet the Boss's cold eyes. He was not different as usual – playful, unconcerned, distant but close at the same time. His body was the only thing keeping the contact between Yashiro and the rest of the world, so bland and tasteless, compared to the sweet illusions he loved to imagine. Surely, this sex issue was the link holding him clung to life and its brutality. Being a yakuza wasn't such a thing – it was more like a job, a chore, something to deal with, something to do until the end of the day, another suit to wear in the street, even trapped in a giant but lifeless office's room. Some, by the past few weeks, had told elements of Yashiro's past to the bodyguard. Just to make sure. Or, to intimidate. But he never knew enough, and each question he'd asked to him had been angrily swept away. Then, it had always ended badly : the Boss going away without a word, and him standing alone on the inanimate surface of the Earth. Impotent ? Oh, God. If only he knew… would he be disappointed as well, by him, or just by fate ? _Too bad. _Dômeki wasn't so sure of these words. He'd rather pretend to be blind and unmoved than to watch this dark magic go away. He know, deep inside, that it would be the end, if Yashiro had the occasion of making him scream of pleasure.

Such a big deal. A _fucking_ big deal.

He was just ridiculously feeling like one of these princesses, unable to love their prince because of the fucking bad and selfish destiny. Fatality.

« Oi, have you lost your tongue ? I knew you were impotent, but dumb… »

Dômeki seemed to blush, but Yashiro was already moving away.

« Hurry up. It's cold outside. I wanna go home.

- Yes, Boss. »

The man walked to the car and got in Dômeki did the same, taking place on the driver's seat. At least, he had the chance to be the Boss's closest subordinate. Physically. Driving him here and there, making sure nobody gets too close, assuring his security. That was the best job he could ever have. Better than police, better than anything being near this beautiful and odd man was a privilege Dômeki didn't want to decline.

He started the car and peeped at the rearview mirror, lying in wait for the next Boss's move. But he stared much too long, and Yashiro cast a glance at him. Dômeki bowed his head, and engaged the car on the road. The streets were loud and overcrowed, way too much noise for such a sad evening. But in this small cockpit, there was only silence, their respective breaths, and the distant din. As much as Dômeki was enjoying this intimacy, he was fearing it.

His relationship with the Boss as not as good as it was before. And he couldn't stop wondering if Yashiro would order him to enter in the flat. Even to stay until the little morning. His stomach knotted at the thought of getting teased by the blond man – he knew he wouldn't resist this time. How long could he pretend ? Aish.

« Does this hurt ?

- You know I like it. But yes, it does. »

The Boss was looking outside the window. Behind, there was blurred, fuzzy silhouettes fading away as the car was progressing. He couldn't escape this time, and, maybe, Dômeki could finally ask some questions – and above all get some answers.

« You should rest a bit.

- That's exactly what I'm going to do tonight. »

Dômeki frowned. It felt like a bittersweet feeling of disappointment.

« I mean, during the day. Maybe it's too early for you to get back to the office.

- Oh, man. All I'm doing all day long is to suck dicks and counting ships. What do you want me to do ? Anyway, I wouldn't be more productive at home. This is so freaking empty. »

There – a window. A window to ask another question.

« Do you want me to stay, tonight ? »

He hold his breath silently. Somehow he didn't want to hear the answer. It was going to be a categoric « noooo, the hell ! » with this horrible tone that was wrecking Dômeki's heart each time. But, surprisingly, he didn't get mad… and he said yes.

« I thought you were used enough to not have to ask. Apparently not. Well, stay. »

Dômeki stayed silent. He wanted him to tell it. He wanted him to tell : « I want you to stay », with this clear and confident voice. He wanted to hear it with his own ears, for real. A part of him was conscient that he wanted it anyway, and telling it by this way or another wouldn't make such a great difference. But, selfish in that moment, Dômeki wanted to be an… exception.

He drove the car 'til Yashiro's flat, parking the vehicle with caution, as always. Yashiro got out of the car without even waiting for him to switch off the ignition. Clumsily getting out of the car at his turn, Dômeki threw a glance at the Boss. Was he angry, or something ? He couldn't tell – but no one could. The Boss was a piece of shadow, disappearing by the first ray of sunshine. He was cold, distant, always keeping his emotional precaution, allergic to human relations which weren't sexual. There was something strange in his eyes. Like, a bit of loneliness, in the middle of a million voices's din, shouting, crying, howling in all directions. Yashiro's face was also so sluggish and bleak, at times – however, the Boss never showed any sign of weakness. Not in front of the subordinates, not in being a yakuza.

The Boss walk to the building and waited for the elevator to come. His expensive jacket over his shoulders, without wearing it nonetheless, he had this overly elegant attitude that attracted the bodyguard so much. More than everything, he wanted to watch – but Yashiro was too clever not to notice it. One time again, it was a risk that Dômeki couldn't take. For his place, for his job – for the only chance he'd have to watch over the Boss.

The flat had this sorrowful smell of friendlessness like, in some way, nobody ever came to this place. Yashiro was so famous – and so lonely at the same time. His personnality didn't seemed to be this much affected by this reclusion, but Dômeki did not agree to the fact that being constantly alone is a good thing. Not only for his mental health. It was about… something else. Something bigger. Sharing something, maybe – or just the idea of a couple floating in his exhausted mind. Yashiro's idea of love was pitiful and completely wretched. What a paltry thing to have sex with everybody without even sharing some love with one of them.

But Dômeki couldn't complain. If the Boss was in love, it would be with Kageyama, something he just couldn't accept. Jealousy, selfishness – whatever the name it had. It was there, in his chest, decided to stay until the very end. And he was trapped in his game, powerless.

« So, started the Boss. Are you going to cook some dinner ? I'm fucking hungry. »

It took a few seconds to understand the order. Yashiro, who was always making innuendos about food and sex, often had difficulties to be heard. More than one time, Dômeki had been humiliated by this dark confusion – and it always was the same way. Him thinking about food the other thinking about sex. Never switching roles. How funny was it, when today, finally, they decided to get each other's place. Yashiro demanded a meal, and Dômeki was craving the Boss's body, which he knew he couldn't have. Torturous, he thought.

The Boss was in dressing gown, sitting on the bed, legs crossed. He still wore his socks but his entire body was naked – and Dômeki remembered this time, when he had been sooo close to lose control. However, Yashiro didn't seem to worry about it. This time, he was silently eating, under the patient and benevolent gaze of Dômeki. Suddenly, he felt like a relative – a father, a big brother, maybe, always taking care – but never getting the same from him. And he didn't want to be a relative anyway, even if would be easier to see him then. He just wanted one thing : to be here. And never go away.

« Are you going to watch me eating until I finished ? That's freaking creepy. You look like a dead body still standing on the ground. Look away ! » he whizzed, grumpy.

The Boss was definitely in a kind of bad mood. The perfidious thought of it being all his fault crossed his mind. Was it really is fault ? Well, he had to know.

« Is there something wrong ?

- Nah, I just want to eat without having the impression of being in front of a sociopath. »

How funny. Between the two of them, the most likely to be a sociopath was obviously Yashiro. However, Dômeki didn't reply – until he tried once again.

« But, really. You don't seem very well. »

This time, as Dômeki was frowning, the Boss stopped eating and slowly put his bowl on the ground. Still sitting on the bed, in front of his subordinate, it was the exact position as last time, when he gave him the Tiger shirt and laughed at him. That was the time when Dômeki felt something was wrong. Something, there, in him, moving, getting warmer. Yashiro's head on his thigh, and then, Dômeki's sex story timidly told.

Today, Yashiro didn't lay on his bodyguard. But worst : he got closer, finally sitting at less than fifteen centimeters from him. Their faces were so close that Dômeki could feel the Boss's breath stroking his nose. He just couldn't make a move. That was too dangerous, too risky – and impossible, anyway. He was totally freaking out. The Boss was playing again, and he didn't know if this time, he could lie to get control back. The worst wasn't to lie, but to let the Boss think that he was completely impotent and indifferent. That was so far from the truth, right now. All he wanted was all he couldn't ever have. Yashiro was nobody's friend, nobody's lover he was just a mind and a body separated one from the other, but living together as well. Yes, Yashiro was someone special. And he sure would change attitude if Dômeki did.

« I hope you're not about to cry. I hate seeing people cry. This is just too lame. »

He didn't answered, terrified. The Boss's hand was already running along his right leg.

« You are. You're lame and ridiculous, you're humiliating me each second passing by. But you're cute – so I forgive you. »

And just to achieve him, he smiled. Dômeki, who was biting his inner cheek to keep control of himself, was free again. And just as fast as he could notice, the Boss's hand got away from his leg, as if a secret had been told and Yashiro went to the bathroom without a word, and locked the door, leaving the other speechless once again.


	4. 3 : Firewall

_Sorry for the bad english again!_

**To listen during the reading : **

_Sciences/Visions_ - Chvrches

_Your Body is a Machine_ - The Good Natured

* * *

Of course he couldn't sleep. All he could think about was this warm, beautiful body so close to his. Dômeki was turned by the window, lying on his side. He didn't want to see Boss's face while he slept. This would be too tempting, too delicious – too painful, nay. The silence was overwhelming, only letting Yashiro's breath sing him to sleep. Dômeki, on the contrary, was trying so hard no to breath. Not to let his own breath mingle with Yashiro's. There was something odd of staring the darkness, convincing himself that he was alone in this room. This was hard – when he could finally believe in this lie, Yashiro moved, sighed or changed sides. At the end, he couldn't deny there was this tasty, delicate body just behind his back.

Finally, Dômeki took his courage and turned himself to Yashiro's side. As he was hoping, the Boss was deeply asleep, his chest rising and falling to the rhythm of his elfin breath. The boydguard looked down at his sleeping face, so perfect in this moment. There was no wince, no grin, no frown – only the delectable expression he wore at night. Calm, carefree. It was too flawless. His blond, almost white hair, his tired eyes he loved so much to be seen with, these pale cheeks never blushing, this thin nose he'd never touched, and above all ; these snide lips, just waiting for Dômeki's to come closer. It seemed like everything on his face was pushing him to do this, to kiss him, right now, here, in the second. But something prevented him to do so. Maybe it was the fear of waking him up, or the violence of his desire, tearing him apart each time he laid his eyes on him. Moreover, this was something different. Suddenly, he realized he'd never seen someone kissing him. Were Yashiro's lips this pure and innocent ? This thought was grievous, making him want these even more. Nevertheless, he felt like he didn't have the right to do such a dangerous thing.

Deep inside him, he knew Yashiro would fire him in the second.

"The Boss is beautiful," he said to the silence, as he couldn't take his eyes off of him.

Their relationship was so sticky and blurred. If only the Boss could tell the words, giving him the right to get closer. That was always the Boss's move. It was always him that got closer to Dômeki, always him that wrecked the distance between the two of them. He had all control – and Dômeki was painfully undergoing the delicious thing. All these times Boss's hands had been on his body, all these times Boss's mouth had touched his member, all these times he didn't make a move, his stomach getting knotted. That was it – he was dying to take the Boss's face in his hands, to bring him closer, to look him in the eyes in which he desperately wanted to see a flame of desire.

Yes, he wanted him so much that it was painful. And all he could do was to watch him while he slept, the only time during which he couldn't get caught. Damn, he was so beautiful. Without even realizing what he was doing, Dômeki's left hand was running down Yashiro's skin. He caressed his cheek with his thumb and his index, barely daring to touch him freely.

"What the hell is that ?" a voice said in a whisper.

Dômeki, his eyes wide open, was completely freaking out. The Boss was awake ; he had awakened him ; he had been caught his hands on him. What a shame. His face got all red, blushing in the dark and hoping for it not to be discovered. Dômeki was about to remove his hand with a quick and frightened movement, but something just stopped him, squeezing it with seriousness. Yashiro's.

"Since when do you cuddle me in your sleep ?"

He didn't answer. What could he say ? That was humiliating. And Yashiro's eyes were penetrating him.

"Moreover, are you dumb ? Who told you to get your hands off ?"

Dômeki lost his breath. His heart was beating so fast he once thought he'd die in the minute. Was Yashiro saying to keep his hands on him until further notice ? The heck. The Boss was playing again. He was still squeezing his wrist, so hard it was aching. But he did not have the right to get rid of it. He'd been caught : now he'd to pay to price. The punishment. Yashiro was looking at him, no, staring more exaclty. His eyes didn't blinked once. It was like he was waiting for Dômeki to do the next move. And when he finally tried to discard Yashiro's grip, surprisingly, the Boss didn't resisted.

"I'm worry," he said, with this shy and low voice, always full of shame and confusion.

But Yashiro didn't want any excuse. He wanted something else.

"You moron. Don't stop it now."

He was frowning and his eyes were tough, harsh. It sounded like an order, but not from the Boss. From Yashiro.

They straightened up and Dômeki lost his breath again. He wanted to touch him so badly, and now, he was ordered to do it. Yet, confused, he was dying to touch him again. Dômeki gently put his hands on Yashiro's cheeks, holding his head with a surprising ease. His heart was beating louder, and louder ; and faster. Yashiro put one of his hands on Dômeki's wrist again, but he didn't do anything, letting him continue. The Boss was looking at him, so calm, but could feel like a glimmer of impatience, glowing in his eyes. This was the thing, the signal he needed – and Dômeki ran his hands through his hair, feeling a cloud of desire growing in him. Crap. He didn't want to be discovered again. If the Boss found out how impotent he was **not **anymore, it'd be the end. However, something was shouting in his ears, pushing him to get closer anyway. So be it.

"I bet your heart is ready to explode, isn't it ? Come closer."

Dômeki obeyed. Now he was so close to him that he had to move his legs over his, encircling him, as Yashiro was doing the same thing with him. Their chests were so near he almost could feel Yashiro's heart beating against him. Fuck. It was too delicious. His entire body was trembling, trembling of desire, trembling of fear, impatience, apprehension, confusion. Yashiro noticed it ; and he kind of smiled, catching his eyes with his.

"You know, I'm the office's slut. But there is something weird I can admit. You are the only one who came to my place. And the only one I didn't begged to bang me. I like the pain, I absolutely love it. But being close to you is enough. Well…" he started, his voice getting lower and lower, making his heart beat wilder again. "It was."

Something burst around them. He didn't know what exactly. The last centimeters between them, or his own heart, he didn't know : all he could notice was that Yashiro had never been so implicit, so sincere. Suddenly, he realized he was almost ordering him to do it. To bang him. But he knew – no, he _believed _Dômeki was impotent. Dômeki's presence was enough to feel the pain, he had said. And now, it just wan't enough anymore ? His cheeks became warm and his breath was out of control.

"How funny. You're the only one who does not want to fuck me. And you're the only… I crave so badly it hurts."

Ouch.

His heart died. Just there, now.

He couldn't believe it was Yashiro's words. Was it a dream or something ? But before he got the chance to get an answer, Yashiro was talking again.

"You can do what you want with me. I'll let it go. But if you dare to kiss me, just once… you'll be finished."

Dômeki bowed his head, disappointed. He'd be fired. Of course.

"I'll definitely want to make you come."

Ouch again. How delicious were the Boss's words, those he never thought he'd hear – alive, anyway. His heartbeat's melody was so sweet – and the fact of being so close to him was definitely enjoyable, and cunning. But some questions were there, scraping him, and he had to ask for answers.

"I thought you'd get bored.

- Yes, I probably will.

- But… he started, confused.

- But I never really kissed someone. Not someone like you, someone I am thirsty for. And I fucking want you, right now, to kiss these ones," and he put his fingers on his lips to accompany the words.

Dômeki panicked. He did want to kiss him, that was all I ever dreamed of the last few weeks, waking up feverish and soaking each time. But now, all he could see was the end of the story. Kissing him now meant to get pushed away later – and he surely didn't want such an awful thing. He was here to watch over the Boss, to make sure he lives. Even, to give his own life to save Boss's one. He was entirely ready to do that. But to leave it all behind by a simple kiss, taking the huge risk of being rejected, of losing him, it was too difficult. His body was burning and he could feel sweating drops in his back. However, even if he wanted these lips more than anything, he chose safety. Being near to him all this time was better to be close to him one night only. Dômeki definitely not wanted to be another name of the list. And thinking about him, bored and weary, was too painful to take the risk.

"No."

Yashiro widened his eyes, astonished. What ? All this time, he was teasing him, making him want to give up – and finally, his subordinate declined the offer he didn't give to anyone ? How laughable. He frowned, suddenly angry, because he couldn't accept the idea of letting him go. He was so close, so close to taste his lips, to taste his body, to breath his smell, to catch his heart. Now it all sounded like a joke. For the first time, someone was pushing the Boss away. The blond looked at him with fury eyes, and his voice became aggressive and sharp.

"What the hell, you fucking brat. Did you just say 'no' ?

- I'm sorry, Boss.

- You're always sorry. Fuck. Are you dumb ?"

These were harsh words. He was "the Boss" again. The unmoved and rude Boss. The one always acting disrespectfully, throwing insults to the world, teasing the people's sex desires. But unlike previous times, this angry thing seemed, according to Dômeki, to be justified. He fucked up. But it was too late to get things right, and he painfully chased the pleasant idea of kissing the Boss's lips, those he silently wanted all these nights.

"I think I am, Boss."

And without a word, he got up, getting away from Yashiro's grip. He went out of bed and stood there, in front of Yashiro's hurt face, his shirt open, teasing the Boss with this skin he could have touched if things had turned out differently.

"Don't think I am not interested. But, Boss, this is risky business."

And he left. Like he did yesterday evening, with leaving Dômeki alone in the room, stealing his liberty. There, Dômeki just did the same to him. Fair justice, he once thought, but he still sounded like bitterness shit. The door slammed, and soon, there was only silence and disappointment.


End file.
